Dear Monica,
Today is my day off and I thought about catching up on some laundry or cleaning my mom's house a bit, you know while I am awake and being productive.I have been thinking about doing some side projects to eventually try to earn some money.I have been thinking about Podcasting, becoming a voiceover actor for online books. selling some health products, but really I just want to talk and tell my story like I always have wanted to in the past.
I have always wanted to just put myself out there tell a story about why I am who I am but lately I feel like I am losing sight who "me" really is. I used to have all the answers. I could give you my two cents even if you didn't want it. I didn't care if I hurt feelings or not because I said my truth.Folks just dealt with it.. I now have a family of my own. My husband and I have officially been together half of our lives. We met when he was 18 years old, he will be 38 in September. I was 22 and I just turned 44 in May. So much life experience is just rolled into 20 years. We have helped raise children that where blood related to us. Some that we had placed in our care, and grown adults that choose to be with us for one reason or another.People have just always seemed drawn to us. I have no idea why but here we are now twenty years later raising daughters and I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I am a mother. She is my life. They both are but with Skyllar we share her upbringing with Barb. She is still her full time Parent. We are The Plan B just in case, but the more years that go by. I realize how Skyllar needs us less and less. Don't get me wrong that is great. I have always wanted Skyllar to have as much time possible with her Mom as she could get, but that means that we have less and less time with her too. Neva is the one who puts it all in perspective. I look at her everyday and realize she is watching my every move. I also realize that at the age of eight she has a grasp on the reality of the world far sooner then me and my sister ever did. Both of the girls had to deal with death sooner then I did. They both started adjusting to adult situations at young ages. I want to say that I would not change a thing, but I do kind of wish they had more Time to be kids.
As always Hang in there
Love Always,
Monica Ray
