Bebè, Man's, Women's and children's Best Friend

Our 20 year old Chihuahua/Pitbull Bebé

On May 8th 2022, we lost our dog. She was no ordinary dog, we actually got her as an adult. She wasn't a puppy, she was a full grown adult dog. Yet she was so unique that people would see her and had a hard time fathoming what exactly she was. She was a desert dog born in Marana Arizona on the Salazar Ranch. This is actually my cousin Joey and his wife Nicolette's property. They had a female Pitbull who had a few litters puppies, one particular litter accidentally came from a Chihuahua, who died shortly after the encounter. Half of the litter looked like momma, some looked like daddy but one was completely different than them all. She was tiny, yet stocky in statute, her eyes bulging from her face. She was fearless a natural at  pest control, there was nothing she couldn't get rid of. Even dogs that were more than 10 times her size, she would not back down to them. She was a force to be reckoned with. The night that we brought her home, she was reluctant to climb on the bed with the other dogs. The next morning I accidentally rolled over on top of her and she attacked my face leaving me with a scar. She also would antagonize our Pitbull, BB. Our dog was a natural mother she instinctively would find any dog that was smaller than her and try to nurse it. But Bebé was not having it. Honestly she was older than BB to begin with. Ultimately one day baby had enough and put her entire mouth over babies whole body reminding her that she could eat her. After that the two became girlfriends. Not sure what other way to put it because Bebé took to grooming BB. They were best friends until the day that BB died. When we decided to move back to Texas, we had Roscoe and Bebé, knowing that we would be staying with my sister who had a puppy of her own. And knowing that Roscoe who had lived in the country his whole life would have a difficult time adjusting to living in a city, we made the decision to leave Roscoe with a friend and bring Bebé with us. We knew that at her age it would be irresponsible to leave her behind. No matter where we went everyone enjoyed having her around. She was house trained and follow commands, but most importantly she made our family whole. She was one of a kind and can never be replaced. She was not only Man's best friend but she was mine, my mother's, my step father's, my niece's, and both my daughters. She was more than just a dog. She was family. We used joke around and tell people she was a chupacabra ( the legendary goat sucker). Or an Arizona desert hound. When we would tell anyone what breed she was, on the off chance that she wasn't with us, they would automatically have to see a picture of her to see exactly what a Chihuahua and a Pitbull look like. She was a beautiful soul and at the age of 20, she was way too good for this world, and has her family we didn't deserve to have her. She was completely to good for us as well. She loved us with everything she had, which was one of the biggest fur baby hearts I have ever known. Everyday since she passed away has an empty and awkward. She is completely missed and loved by many. 

Come as you are. Lessons in being able to just be me not what people want me to be

 

" I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." -KURT COBAIN

Just about my entire life I have noticed that I wasn't like everyone else. I never had a hard time making friends or being accepted. My mom raised us to be open-minded to understand that everyone is not the same. None of us was meant to be like anyone else. Yet we tend to try to camouflage ourselves within each other so that we don't stand out. 

Kurt Cobain was and continues to be a legend in a world that may not have been ready for him. He changed the face of music forever. Yes Nirvana was the band, but Kurt Cobain was the face and voice, of a generation that had no idea how to express their feelings. One day this man came out of nowhere and taught millions of teenagers, and young adults that they didn't have to walk around with a smile on their face. They didn't have to accept the world as it was or how they were told to view it. They didn't have to conform or live the lives of their grandparents, or even parents. In turn I don't believe that Kurt Cobain realized how famous he was going to become. When the weight of being an icon is suddenly placed on your shoulders sometimes we need help to lift it up, sometimes we don't know how to ask for help to lift our ownselves. Being yourself is sometimes the easiest thing you can do, other times it can be the hardest. No one handles who they see in their reflection the same way. We also have a difficult time seeing what others see when they look at us. More times than not we are harsh on ourselves, we tend to call ourselves all the names that we think others are secretly calling us behind our backs. 

How many people do you know that seem to be so unhappy with who they are because they are not being honest with the world. How many people do you know that appear to be artificially happy with who they are. Fake a smile so no one knows what's really inside. If I have learned anything from watching the pattern of human nature it is this, it's easier to tell people that everything is fine that you are all right that nothing is wrong. Once you let your guard down and open up to people you run the risk of being hurt. You're under scrutiny and suddenly people are handling you and your feelings with child gloves. Everything is fine, I'm all right, nothing's wrong just become so much easier to say out loud. It's better than I'm sad, I need help, or I am feeling wrong about everything. I am ready to end this all becomes the voice in our head that makes the most sense. Everything else feels like procrastination of something that eventually it's just going to happen. It has become a little more acceptable for anyone male or female to be able to express their emotions and their feelings. We have begun to take the time to listen to what people are trying to say rather than just pushing things to the back burner. Where my generation was told that crying is weakness it doesn't solve any problems. We were taught to push our emotions as far back as we could and suck it up. My mother's generation was taught that their opinions didn't matter. Kids should be seen and not heard, was the saying. Our grandparents where raised to be extensions of their family. All of them working to support their family as a whole, since the average family had more than four children. Some of them were able to go to school to get an education and some of them went straight to work to support their families. All of them had more responsibility then the average child of today. 

So having a substantial amount of people around you does not necessarily mean that you are social in fact hiding behind a group of people is the best way to hide that you are unhappy and need help. 

Ask for help when you need it. If you wait until it's to late you can not turn back. 

Death in threes

 So it was Coco Washington that I heard about first. We have known each other since we were kids in Arizona. My mom worked at a daycare center in Rilitto a small town that made, the small town of Marana look like a city in comparison. My mom met some lifelong friends that actually turned into family working at  the Daycare.

When I first met Coco she wasn't Coco at the time.  She was Andre Washington. Her mother was Laura Mae and one of my mom's friends. Even then we all knew that Andre was not meant to be. He was born into the world but he never was actually a product of it. Coco was always there underneath the surface just needing to get out. Andre was a small built young boy, who was very flamboyant, talking with his hands and standing with a hand on his hip. He was beautiful, to beautiful for masculine features. He was teased often being born to an extremely athletic family, not only the men, but even the women competitive as hell. He had more in common with his female family members and friends. In fact my cousin Jeanette and Andre where Best Friends growing up. Eventually Andre Washington became, Chanel Washington Coco for short. From then on she was Coco. Or "Bitch don't call me Andre!!" Let me tell you you about Coco. She was a powerhouse, an individual who always played by her own set of rules, who made bringing herself exceptable before gender equality was excepted in normal social circles. She was open-minded and excepted people as they where. She made sure everyone around her was taken care of before her own needs. The world is lacking of a beautiful soul. We all will never be the same, now that we have lost her.

The second person that we have lost this week was a gentleman we worked with at the Walmart in Grapevine TX. Don Was an amazing co-worker we worked pretty close to each other. We worked in the deli department and he was produce. He was a huge Football Fan. Pittsburgh, Steelers was his team. Sundays during Football season were eventful with just about all of us rooting for different teams. He was a father, a husband, an amazing friend. He was always quick with a joke, A smile, and good conversations. He will be missed so much. 

The last person that has been taken way to soon from my life is Jeremy Canion formally known as Jeremy West. I met Jeremy West in Sixth grade at Bryson Elementary School in Saginaw TX, this just happens to be the same school my daughter attends. We rode the bus together. We graduated together but we actually became part of each other's history forever connecting us to each other. First of all my best friend Jamie has always loved Jeremy. They have always been an unofficial item. Anytime we had get togethers or hooked up for some reason or another Jeremy and Jamie usually hooked up together. He was actually the first boy that ever gave her flowers. And trust me and Jamie was actually a pretty hard shelled person when she was younger. She was very picky about who was going to be her boyfriend who is going to stay in her life yet Jeremy was a different story.

Actually when we first became friends with Jeremy West we actually didn't know him very well he was friends with our friend Roy Pierce. Well one day around Halloween the grocery store in our town diamond supermarket set up this haunted house that was just basically flashing lights and animatronics popping out to startle people who walked through. Well Jeremy just happened to be there and he saw us go in through the entrance to the haunted house so he decided to go in through the exit and meet us in the middle. Thing is we didn't realize that he was coming from the other direction and when we met in the middle he's scared us and we both screamed so loud freaking out. Trust me neither one of us are easy to scare so for him to do that we were completely thrown off guard. At that time we didn't even know his name but pretty soon we were all inseparable. It was Roy Pierce, Robert Rosales, Jeremy West, Dustin Minshew, Jamie Byrd and me, Monica Salazar. Dustin actually didn't go to school with us but every weekend he was staying the night and one of the boys' house and we were all hanging out. As the years went by we all started hanging out with different groups. Robert started hanging out with different people Dustin was at another school so we saw him less and less. Jamie move to Keller so she didn't finish out Junior High with us nor high school. But we still did everything in our power to stay connected to each other. Roy and I actually got closer and closer and he became a confidant and guardian in a way. Jeremy started hanging out with  skaters. Even though we weren't all in the same social groups we still make sure to acknowledge each other and try to keep our friendship going. A lot of times everybody ended up hanging out at my house because my mom worked overnights so it was easier for us to have get togethers and shindigz without parental supervision. So one day Jeremy was at my apartment hanging out and my mom came home from work unexpectedly. So Jeremy hid under my bed, definitely not daring to come out or my mom would have went ballistic. So after a while I excused myself and went into my bedroom climbed under the bed where Jeremy was and we he decided that that day would be the day that Jeremy would have his first kiss. I was his first kiss. Even though neither one of us ever took it any further than that it was something that we had that belong to only us. No one could ever take that moment from us. He was an incredible guy, raised by a single mother like me. So he was incredibly respectful of women, never making any of us feel uneasy about hanging out with him. He was an amazing artist above is a original picture he drew. He just had an beautiful disposition and anyone who ever met him was lucky to know him including me. 

So Coco, Don in Produce, and Jeremy Canion West all of y'all rest in peace and love 💕 y'all more than you will ever know